ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im about as happy as oj after his trial
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
