Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I will pee on everything he values.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
