This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
