i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My vagina just recognized that song.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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