What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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