he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
