1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
