very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize