i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My life is pants optional.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
