quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
