Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
