Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
