Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
