I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
