just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
