it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to calm my uterus...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
