When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
