Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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