I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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