Whod you bang
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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