I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
