So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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