His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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