Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
