I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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