Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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