# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
