I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
