Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
