I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
