why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
