well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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