Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
