Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
