He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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