im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
