He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
