You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
