i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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