Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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