scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
