Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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