Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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