I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
