Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
