We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
