He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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