Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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