i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
MIDGETS
????
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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