its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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