Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
