I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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