Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Drunk is not a location!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
