so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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