Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
