you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
